We are Deceived to Crave Likes on Social Media

A man who rode his motorcycle up to the altar in the Taal Basilica and sat on the priest’s chair might have not done it for Likes (he did it under the influence of pot). But many other people do similar dumb things for the sake of Likes or clout.

Facebook, Youtube and other social media platforms are filled with Like buttons. “Content creators” who have periodic uploads on their channels fish for Likes on the impression that they will receive money from these. Or, they fish for Likes to stoke their ever-hungry ego, which is called “Main Character Syndrome.”

I started writing this article during the rash of online “challenges” like Tide-pod eating, blackout/choking challenge, and Birdbox challenge. These days, we have that incident in Taal as well as Tiktok idiocies and stunts from “content creators” that go wrong (like having selfies at trains and getting injured or killed in the process), so it is still timely. Young impressionable people with their not-so-developed brains are easily tricked into doing dumb things for the sake of clout.

They are also made to believe that making money is as easy as making funny faces during a selfie, while the reality is that views and likes don’t always translate into money. Youtube and other platforms have stringent rules on monetization which have discouraged and even stopped some content creators’ channels. Young wannabe content creators likely have no idea of the work they need to do. Plus, one dumb mistake and it’s all over, like what happened to once-famous Youtubers like Mr. Beast and Nas Daily.

There is no shortage of commentators who deem the collection of Likes a futile lifestyle, one that can be adverse to mental (and even physical) health. Like-hunters assume that they are building a great career or propping up their dignity, when in fact they are just being made to spend money on Like-hunting products and serve business interests. Some who feel they have failed to get enough Likes get depressed and sometimes commit suicide. This makes it worth talking about Like-craving as a major problem.

Likes and Clout are not entitlements

I know that people naturally want to be liked. However, it does not justify demanding likes and holding the idea that other people not “liking” them should be considered hateful. If you don’t give people the Likes they are fishing for, even if there is no dislike (meaning there’s an in-between), you are called a bigot or other such slur. “You have no appreciation for other people,” “you don’t care about others,” or other such moral gaslights. You have to Like people or else you’ll be pounced on by the deceived, maddened mob.

One of the problems here is the application of false dichotomy, in which people demand that either you like or hate something, there can be no in-between. That is untrue; there is an in-between wherein you don’t like something but you know how to let it go and don’t need to hate it. We may call it ambivalence, which is a legitimate thing. However, people with partisan mentality like social justice warriors and unsophisticated Filipinos hate it. They carry the George Bush attitude of “either you’re with me or against me.” They hate the right of other people to be ambivalent (in the end, they will hate others’ rights at all) because they want everybody to side with them. But, first of all, why demand people to “side” with you, is there really conflict in this?

My theory is that this fixation on Likes actually draws from the survival instinct, although the Like-hunters will claim that it is part of a drive for higher level actualization. It comes out as “I’m proud, so don’t step on me,” but it can devolve into, “I’m proud of myself so you should like me and validate me so I can like myself!” However, other people are more likely to interpret it as looking for a fight. That’s why I see loud self-projection like pride marches as little more than narcissism. It actually doesn’t help their goal of survival and it may actually reveal that the person is insecure about themselves.

Some may reason that you need to like people or else they may get ostracized or killed. But for me, if you are worried about not being liked, then you might actually approve of the culling mentality itself, that ostracizing or killing some people is justified. It’s the victim joining the victimizer. It’s better to believe that people have the right to live despite being unliked. Others’ dislikes or such should not affect them.

“Girly Group” Dynamics

Another theory I have is that it is one small group assuming that everyone should be like themselves. Youtuber and writer Abbie Emmons, in her advice video titled “7 Cringey MISTAKES Writers Make with MALE Characters,” advised aspiring writers to remember that “guy groups don’t act like girl groups” (and vice versa). Her explanation was that women are like a flock of sheep, an effervescent cloud of compliments and nurturing energy (though she flashed a subtitle saying “but not mean girls,” acknowledging the dark side of women). Guy groups on the other hand are more like wolfpacks, with banter and ironic humor, but that is not a bad thing. There is more individuality in guy groups – that is a really good thing.

It occurred to me that social media toxicity is the girls’ “complimenting each other” mentality being unnecessarily magnified. Many people, including males, have taken on these “girly attitudes” that they feel entitled to compliments. And if they don’t get compliments, they attack those people perceived to have “failed” in giving these. Feminists and LGBTQ+ “activists” are likely among those trying to push “girly attitudes” on others. It is a bad idea that led to widespread arrogance and toxicity. The male attitude counterbalances this, because it is more like, letting an insult slide because it is just banter, and so you don’t demand compliments. Let compliments come organically.

The Myth of Universal Taste

One other aspect about Likes and Dislikes is how people want others to have the same Likes and Dislikes as them. Instead of respecting differences, they want to insist that everybody be the same. But, as I said in my article about the topic, such people will want everyone else to follow them rather than be willing to accept others’ ideas. This is selfishness.

One of my points in my articles about Art and Sameness Insistence is that people are born with the right to different Likes and Dislikes. People who want everyone who have the same Likes likely hate others’ rights to be different. An aggressive desire for Likes can lead to disrespect for others, and encourages narcissism and true selfishness.

I also tend to be skeptical of those who claim that they can “like everything.” I doubt that liking everything is actually a sign of moral superiority; in fact, it can be more of a deception and hypocrisy. I agree with the Biblical passage “everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” It implies that not everything is good, so not everything needs to be liked. Should you like even the things that harm or offend you? So it doesn’t make sense to “like everything.” They may use the gaslight, “if you don’t appreciate everything, you’re immoral/a bigot/ bad/etc.” This is nothing more than a narcissist trying to impose their way on others.

Ultimately, everything is niche, no specific cultural taste or such can ever be universal, and we will all be different in the end. Likes and dislikes differing with each individual is the norm.

Dislike ≠ Hatred

Dislike is not hatred. The range from Like to Dislike to Hate has degrees. A simplistic “either you like it or hate it” approach reflects lack of understanding. The simplistic approach is also a tool for seeding hatred and inciting people to attack others.

The reason for proper treatment of other people is not based on Likes, but on respect and basic decency. Treat people with respect whether you like them or not. If you mistreat people you don’t like, that is abuse and malice. People have the right to live as they want whether they are liked or not. This is best mentality to have in order to get through life without voraciously seeking Likes or trying to shut down others’ Dislikes.