After reading some of the comments on the GRP FB page, I spotted a comment about the way a lot of Pinoys prefer what they perceive as “simple” over what is “complex”. Now truth be told, simple is better in some ways. I myself am nearly driven to madness by complex math for instance. However, what people all too often forget is that everything can’t be simple. Sooner or later, you’ll run into a situation that requires you to think complex thoughts in order to overcome your current predicament. Indeed, there will be problems wherein simple solutions are not only ill-advised but may actually prove to be more detrimental in the long run. After all, you have to remember that a ban-aid won’t be enough for a skull fracture and neither will putting analgesics to an open gunshot wound have any positive results as that would put the victim through even more pain.
Unfortunately, I’ve come to believe that the Pinoy’s aversion to complexity is just another factor in what keeps us locked in the state of misery we’re in. Over the decades, most of the challenges the Filipino people face have grown and, ultimately, become more complex. From the corruption, the poverty, the traffic, the terrorism, the natural disasters to the general bad behavior of the typical Pinoy, these issues may very well require more complex solutions in order to be solved thoroughly and permanently. However, these problems persist because all we ever think to use are simple solutions and answers, not well thought-out and, more often than not, complex and difficult remedies.
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What a lot of us fail to realize is that life itself is never simple and that, in order for us to make the best of it, we will need to utilize complex, out-of-the-box solutions. From my own experience, easy or simple solutions may or may not cause even more damage, especially if the problem at hand is a large one. Indeed, simplicity is, at best, a luxury that not anyone can afford.
Getting The Best Things In Life Is Never Simple
I’m sure that all of us, as young children, have had big dreams. Indeed, I have always believed in the power of one’s childhood dreams and that they are what will eventually lead us to greatness. However, the problem occurs when we start thinking that the path to those dreams will be simple or easy.
What I find both sad and hilarious in our society is our preference for “Cinderella Stories”. You know, the one where some rich guy, preferably a foreigner, comes around to save a damsel in distress and they will, henceforth, live happily ever after. Note that none of these stories ever factor in baggage like taxes, problems with marriage and issues with unruly children just to name a few. Now, I certainly understand it’s appeal with the heroine never having to worry about anything again in the future but, you have to understand, life simply doesn’t work that way.
Truth be told, if you really want to reach your dreams, you’re going to have to fight for them. And, more often than not, the are never simple. If you want to become a doctor, lawyer or engineer, then you have to be prepared for the complexity of said jobs. Studying the human body and curing its ills is never simple. The laws that govern the land are extremely complex and require a lot of thinking to properly utilize for your own agenda. The assembling and maintaining of machines is also very difficult and simple ideas and solutions are seldom enough to actually get anything done.
Heck, if you just want a “simple” life, then you should be content with low-end jobs as they rarely require a lot of complex thinking and working.
Nothing In Life Is Ever Really Simple
Another thing I utterly hate about a lot of us is that we tend to think in black and white. We are quick to assume that one thing is good while the other is bad. Relatively few of us ever settle on the possibility that nothing is ever really as simple as black and white.
For instance, a lot of us are quick to assume that during the Martial Law years, the Marcoses were bad and that the Aquinos, their enemies, were good. Well, while I doubt either side really had the moral high ground in the matter, it might be worth considering that things weren’t really what they seem. To this day, there are still a lot of people who buy into the idea that it was none other than President Marcos himself who had Ninoy Aquino killed. However, if one takes a closer look, that might not be the case at all or that there might likely be other factors involved in the whole fiasco. Most people just bought into the idea of President Marcos being responsible for the killing because it was the simplest and therefore easiest possibility out there.
One of the things I noticed in our society is our tendency to rely too much on what is obvious and simple. It is all too easy for a villain with good publicity to fool Filipinos. This will also make it difficult for us when a hero with bad publicity comes along who we won’t easily recognize.
Complex Isn’t Always Bad
As a student, I have time and time again met classmates who hate their teachers because said teachers are giving them a hard time. Strangely enough, it very rarely occurs to them that said teachers are making things hard for them so that they can improve their standing in school. After all, the purpose of all the exams and tests in school are there estimate a student’s skill and intelligence.
Also of note, complexity isn’t a problem for people who are disciplined. If one knows the rules and knows how to abide by said rules, then there’s nothing to fret about when someone comes along to adjust said rules in order to improve society. So you see, if one is disciplined enough, complexity stops being an issue and can even become helpful in the end.
I HAVE RETURNED TO LAY WASTE TO OUR ENEMIES!
As for me, I am grateful to have teachers who are strict but fair in their methods of teachings since it forced me not only to read but also to understand what is being written.
I do believe that it is more satisfying to achieve something out of doing it the right way, rather than doing it the easy way.
Also Filipinos should watch documentaries more (I personally like the ones made by BBC), and less teleseryes, so that they might learn how to read between the lines and not just take what is given.
General Pinoy watch foreign documentaries? That’s preposterous! All pinoy shit brains wants are shows that don’t punch their brains to thinking. All they want are those crapshit teleseryes which obviously has the same king of storyline. Stupid simple comedy movies that only no brainers watch ( which is 90% of our population anyway). As for me I abhor turning on tv and just instead watch videos in youtube.
Believe me most pinoys will never EVER heed our opinions and suggestions. They don’t want to be educated as it implies to them that they lack education and it hurts their PINOY PRIDE shit. Most pinoys want only the basic stuff. As long as it does the basic product that’s it, it satisfies them unlike foreigners who have the insatiable appetite to make things more complex and articulated and thus progress their technology and make way better products.
The older generation in this country is hopeless but the younger ones have the fighting chance to be educated and think critically as long as they are willing to fight against the narrow thinking of the old and dying generations. As long as they are willing to deviate they will have opportunities to explore more things that can enlighten them.
You’re goddamn right!
Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are inherent in each experience — to appreciate the fact that life is complex.
I hate to say this but if I am not mistaken you were/are the one who believes in the power of praying. That for me is looking for very simplest of simple solutions.
Well, let me put it this way: Praying helps me clear my mind and focus on the task at hand. I pray, not for a sudden miracle, but perhaps an opportunity that can help change the game. Granted, this doesn’t always work but I’ve lucked out every now and again.
Ever heard of meditation? It’s the same thing without much of the religious connotations
Yeah, but I’d rather keep my religion.
In my own expression, I’d prefer to hold on to my part of the elephant…
as Albert Einstein put it:
“keep it simple, but no simpler.”
Grimwald, I love this article. The only thing I would add is a article about good things are worth the wait. I hear many people want to be successful now. You are right to talk about being doctors and lawyers. The good profession take years to study. The is no good profession that takes 6 months to graduate. The complex job also takes time and patience.
Japanese is the most complex writing system in the world, so kids are already trained from the start. There is no shortcut in studying the language, that is why they are able to excel in electronics which required analysis of circuits.
Plus, Japanese and Chinese use CHOPSTICKS. Children who grow to use chopsticks are said to be able to handle complexity better – according to a Chinese friend of mine.
zaxx,
They (Chinese) certainly know how to use those chopsticks to handle our fork, spoon, and knife handling Failipinos. However, the Chinese are as much to blame as our aristocratic and self-serving people; they (Chinese) contribute to the hardship of life in the Failippines by being greedy, cheap, and fostering the corruptions of our politicians through bribery.
Aeta
@Aeta,
Well native Pinoys can blame Chinoys as much as they want. But the relationship is symbiotic:
http://animalsymbiosis.weebly.com/sharks-and-remora-fish.html
Each is scratching the other’s back. Jollibee burger sales in exchange for jobs in exchange for politician’s bribes in exchange for approvals to create mega Malls in exchange for state of the art shopping/dining experience…
Chinese are here to stay whether you like it or not.
The system of dependence is very complex – Pinoys may not realize it. If we remove Chinese blood in PH, the entire system could implode into anarchic pandemonuim.
I’m a fan of iron-fisted rule (for the sake of Singapore-class discipline) but not into Third Reich stuff. I guess some people are more radical than I am.
@zaxx
Welcome to the Bamboo network!
Exactly, OnesimusUnbound, and it (Bamboo Network) is invading like aliens from that 1997 movie “Independence Day,” where they drain the life on earth before moving to another planet to do the same.
Zaxx,
“Symbiotic,” you say, where both species (the Chinese and Failipinos) are supposed to benefit from each other mutually, and not the other way around where one specifies drains the life of another before moving on to another host.
You probably meant ‘Parasitic,’ like those Jollibees, Chowkings, and SM malls employing the Failipino masses—paying them ‘chump change” without job securities and benefits–while these businesses make billions for themselves.
There is no scratching my back relationship between the Chinese businessmen and the Failipino masses; between the Failipino oligarchs and the Chinese perhaps, but not the way you think.
Where do you find “state of the art” dining experience in shopping malls and restaurants, where 99 percent of the population could not even afford to eat at? And you call this a “symbiotic” relationship?
I’m not trying to convince anyone to remove the Chinese-Filipino presence in the Philippines; however, the complete monopoly of the country’s economy—and bribery of our corrupt politicians—from direct foreign investments from China, Singapore, and Taiwan should be greatly monitored and regulated; or, we might as well get used to the idea of saluting the Chinese flags in all of our public and private buildings someday.
These Chinese invasion will not come from outside our territories, but from deep within the very fabric of our way of life that we’ve allowed to happened out of stupidity and ignorance.
Aeta
@Aeta, native Pinoys being simple-minded have been outsmarted by the Chinese. Even with the 60/40 local/foreign ownership restriction, there’s no stopping Chinoys from buying up the entire country because they are technically Filipinos. I won’t be surprised if I wake up someday with this entire country being Chinese owned.
rather than keep whining, Pinoys should find the “secret sauce” our Chinoy bros. are using so they can compete – as I implied, we can probably start by teaching Pinoy kids how to use chopsticks.
zaxx,
Failipinos are not that simple-minded; they might have been about a century ago, but not anymore. If anything we are a bunch of unscrupulous sons (and daughters) of lowly bitches who can kiss anyone’s asses, better than we can lick our own; but, incapable of trusting–not to mention working with—each other to save our country and each other from foreign domination and exploitation.
I don’t whine; I tell it like it is: you, me, and everyone who call themselves a Failipino are just a bunch of aristocratic, self-serving, chameleon-like sons-of-bitches who have nothing to be proud of and think highly of themselves (the Chinese and other foreigners certainly don’t have high regards for us), because we are all “sellouts” to anyone who offers us the right price.
Aside from teaching our Failipino kids how to use chopsticks, you should also teach them the Chinese language, since it will eventually be the national language for the Failippines. Just keep this thought in mind, though. Regardless of how much you assimilate yourself into the Chinese culture, they will never see–nor treat–you as an equal.
Aeta
@Aeta, Pinoys need to earn the right to be treated as an equal by Chinese or foreigners.With a mindset that is 200 years behind that of the first world, it will be a lot of catching up to do. One effective way is by discipleship or apprentice training. Be willing to work in the same boat as these successful businessmen/managers, learn their trade/craft, and later outdo them. Very few see this angle because you’re right – Pinoys are too full of themselves to even see what’s good for them.
That’s why I encourage intermarriage. Children of halfbreeds will at least get half of the mentality from the first-world parent. After several generations, the “stupidity” gene that runs in Pinoy blood will be reduced to 10%. There’s hope – but we may not be alive to see its fruition.
I know a person who is only 1/16 Chinese blooded – and yet the person already exhibits the qualities of what I encapsulated in the Zaxxun Creed. Blood upgrading works.
@Zaxx,
it looks like you are contradicting yourself a bit.
“With a mindset that is 200 years behind that of the first world,” versus “intermarriage“.
In my country, people dont need to marry to have a meaningful and fulfilled life. They can just stick to having a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with kids of their own. In that case the kids are still legal and legitimate. And by making/writing/drafting a will aka testament I can give financial security to my partner or my/our kids. I can also exclude my partner by drafting a will/testament.
Other modes of relationships (in my country; all are legal and have the same legal status as a civil wedding), are:
– living together contract
– registered partnership
– civil wedding
– church wedding (this is not recognized by Dutch law as a (civil) wedding/marriage. To make it legal you have to have/get a civil wedding as well).
* when both parties are 18+ of age, there is no need to have parental consent for the wedding/marriage
* Certificate of attendance in a pre-marriage counseling, family planning, and responsible parenthood seminar and counseling is something we dont have in my country.
* Certificate of No Marriage or certificate of singleness is also something we dont have in my country. One is married (or registered as “living together contract” or registered as “registered partnership”) or is none of the above. If you are not married (and thus not registered as being married), you are automatically single).
“Children of halfbreeds will at least get half of the mentality from the first-world parent”
This all depends on how and where the kid(s) is/are raised. If they are raised according to Filipino culture and in the Philippines then its a dead end.
This is THE reason why I would never let my kids be raised in the Philippines and never according to the Philippine culture (“mano po” and all that. And I dont like the obsessive family focused nature of the PH culture.)
Dear Zaxx,
if you got some time on your hands, pls allow me to suggest to you to read some books written by or written about Kurt Lewin.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Lewin
Lewin’s equation: B = ƒ(P, E).
The Lewin’s equation, B = ƒ(P, E), is a psychological equation of behavior developed by Kurt Lewin. It states that behavior is a function of the person in their environment.
The equation is the psychologist’s most well known formula in social psychology, of which Lewin was a modern pioneer. When first presented in Lewin’s book Principles of Topological Psychology, published in 1936, it contradicted most popular theories in that it gave importance to a person’s momentary situation in understanding his or her behavior, rather than relying entirely on the past.
Zaxx,
I disagree that we Fail-noys have to earn the right to be treated as equal by the Chinese or foreigner. The only thing we Failipinos need to do is prove to each other that we are willing to set aside our self-serving interests, and differences, for the good of the country in order to earn each other’s respect. That should be enough.
Once these Chinese and foreigners see that we Failipinos are genuinely humble and courageous enough to fight for what rightfully belongs to our country and people, we will not only earn the Chinese’s respect, but the rest of whole world’s.
I personally don’t encourage inter-marriages as an effective solution to our country’s problems, especially when the foreign partners came from cultures that are more attractive and powerful than ours; the cultural pull from the other side will be too strong and will undermine and condescend on ours—which is exactly what has been happening to our country and people for centuries.
Plus, the offspring(s) of these inter-racial couples usually do not want anything to do with our culture and people except look down on us; or, expect to be treated like royalty when they come to the Failippines, in which we readily accept and accommodate.
There is no studies nor proof out there that support your idea that watering down our gene will make for a better culture and mentality. In fact, generations after generations of mestizo Failnoys—in our country and abroad–have done nothing but reinforced the aristocratic attitude in our society, and raised the bar on how we define the ideal Failipino look.
A valid evidence of this adulation (“starstruck”) attitude for the mestizo look can be seen among our people in how they adore watching celebrities in our television programs, movies, and beauty pageants who had mixed blood; and, how this ‘mestizo-craze’ trend had robbed our “kayumanggi” talents of the same opportunities.
I don’t get what you’ve got going with this “Zaxxun Creed” crap, but it sounds to me that you are totally sold on the idea of adulterating the lineage of our people (maybe to mask your own insecurity about your own lineage and appearance) at the risk of steering our country towards oblivion.
If you sincerely want to improve the destructive attitude and ways of our people, don’t change their bloodline and appearance. Instead, change their aristocratic and self-serving attitude and way of life by creating an awareness: we are not as beautiful and capable as we imagined ourselves to be, and that we need to come to terms with that reality by being more humble and less selfish if we expect to survive as a nation.
Aeta
Zaxx,
I disagree that we Fail-noys have to earn the right to be treated as equal by the Chinese or foreigner. The only thing we Failipinos need to do is prove to each other that we are willing to set aside our self-serving interests, and differences, for the good of the country in order to earn each other’s respect. That should be enough.
Once these Chinese and foreigners see that we Failipinos are genuinely humble and courageous enough to fight for what rightfully belongs to our country and people, we will not only earn the Chinese’s respect, but the rest of the world’s.
I personally don’t encourage inter-marriages as an effective solution to our country’s problems, especially when the foreign partners came from cultures that are more attractive and powerful than ours; the cultural pull from the other side will be too strong and will undermine and condescend on ours—which is exactly what has been happening to our country and people for centuries.
Plus, the offspring(s) of these inter-racial couples usually do not want anything to do with our culture and people except look down on us; or, expect to be treated like royalty when they come to the Failippines, in which we readily accept and accommodate.
There is no studies nor proof out there that support your idea that watering down our gene will make for a better culture and mentality. In fact, generations after generations of mestizo Failnoys—in our country and abroad–have done nothing but reinforced the aristocratic attitude in our society, and raised the bar on how we define the ideal Failipino look.
A valid evidence of this adulation (“starstruck”) attitude for the mestizo look can be seen among our people in how they adore watching celebrities in our television programs, movies, and beauty pageants who had mixed blood; and, how this ‘mestizo-craze’ trend had robbed our “kayumanggi” talents of the same opportunities.
I don’t get what you’ve got going with this “Zaxxun Creed” crap, but it sounds to me that you are totally sold on the idea of adulterating the lineage of our people (maybe to mask your own insecurity about your own lineage and appearance) at the risk of steering our country towards oblivion.
If you sincerely want to improve the destructive attitude and ways of our people, don’t change their bloodline and appearance. Instead, change their aristocratic and self-serving attitude and way of life by creating an awareness: we are not as beautiful and capable as we imagined ourselves to be, and that we need to come to terms with that reality by being more humble and less selfish if we expect to survive as a nation.
Aeta
Robert, the reason why I encourage intermarriage is exactly for environment. If the child grows in an environment where at least one parent is SANE, that will surely help in his development.
An example is the case of Grimwald. He was raised with an American grandpa who encouraged him to get into English books/literature.
I agree with the psychologist. Environment is key. However for Pinoys blood is thicker than water. Values from the first world will come into our culture faster if there is a blood-line connection. A kid will listen to his father more than a complete stranger. My assumption is that the nuclear family is living together under one roof.
@Zaxx,
My pinay GF (now ex) and I talked about how to raise our future kid. And that was/is difficult from more than one perspctive. I am againt circumcision (without consent from the kid/child/baby), I am against baptism (without consent from the kid/child/baby) and I cant raise OUR kid in a religious way/manner.
I have noticed that the influence from the family (dad, mom, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews) of the pinay is big and strong. While in my country, nobody interferes with my life (as long as I am a mature grown up sane person. Hence, everybody from the age of 18 will not be interfered by his/her family members).
Being raised by one’s grandparents is something rare to see in my country. But it does happen. Mostly when kids run away (leave for good) from his/her own parents.
Pls help me to solve this in case a relationship with another pinay is due?
The solution to your problem is simple: Stop going into a relationship with people who don’t have the same values as you.
I get your point. But when I draw up a list of the ideal person containing items such as:
fat vs slim
smart, bright vs dumb
open minded vs closed minded
independent vs dependent
critical thinking vs non-critical thinking
I call those personality traits and not values. But hey, thats me.
You’re not making any sense. It’s so obvious that what you are looking for in a person is hard to find in some places. Look elsewhere.
Aeta, I don’t care if we dilute the Pinoy’s already FUBR bloodline. What matters is that Pinoy minds get fixed. The zaxxun creed is the alternative to intermarriage. If you don’t like marrying a blondy coz it will contaminate your pure Aeta blood, fine. just memorize the creed – it has the same effect. Another method is to become an OFW trained under first-world managers. There are other methods – we can even have a Bible study if you want. It’s easy – just open the textbook and ask good questions to reflect on the passage. Anyway, as I said elsewhere – changing Pinoy minds is like talking to a stone wall. Maybe it’s similar to the miracle of being “born again” in john 3. But it would really help if our president “role model” was someone who could inspire people – leadership is also key. Whatever happens, life on earth is nothing compared to the eternity we will face. So make sure you’re saved. This will sound like bullshit now- but wait till judgement time when you’re dead. I’ve read many NDEs- the afterlife stuff is damn real. Many former atheists can attest how wrong they were to make fun of Christians. If you dismiss me as a nut – great! Coz behind this iPhone screen – I’m practically bulletproof. cheers – Zaxx
@zaxx,
I personally don’t believe and don’t think there is something like afterlife. Why? I dont know how many people lived before me (and who are dead now) but afterlife/heaven must be really a big space to hold all those people. It will be a real crowded space out there.
Hence, when I die, my life is over.
If there is a god, he should have and could have punished me big time already (for all my sins). But instead I am healthy (no cancer, no other life threatening illnesses). And if I am going to get a life hreatening illness sooner or later, I am sure my doctor will tell me why and how I got it.
If I am not mistaken, Benign0 wrote an blog/article about this some time ago in the same way, I feel about it.
Exactly, Ilda. People fall in love for their personal reasons, and not necessarily their partner’s reasons. So when things work out, it’s always the other partner’s fault and never theirs.
Exactly, Ilda. People fall in love for their personal reasons, and not necessarily their partner’s reasons. So when things don’t work out, it’s always the ex partner’s fault but never theirs.
@Aeta,
I am not sure if you are refering to me and my case. But in case you do, I will share with you (here in public) who’s fault it was.
My pinay GF was going too fast for me. She wanted to have a kid (almost on the spot) and she wanted to marry (almost on the spot). Now, from the beginning (that was even before I visited her) I told her I want to take everything step-by-step. So before we would do things that we both might regret, I ended it, after +/- 2.5 years.
Robert Haighton,
“My pinay GF was going too fast for me. She wanted to have a kid (almost on the spot) and she wanted to marry (almost on the spot).” That’s her reason—to reign you in fast with no chance of escape. “I want to take everything step-by-step,” was yours. I’m surprised you both lasted 2.5 years together.
Dating is like a business negotiation on whether or not you should go into partnership with each other. Hell, even after you marry, you’ll still be negotiating the terms of your partnership. That’s life. I’ve been married for 30 years and I still keep the front and back doors of our nuptial agreement open, just in case either one—or both of us—wants to leave.
Just remember the old adage: “he (or she) who cares the least wins.” So don’t take it personally and move on.
Take Care,
Aeta
@Aeta,
pls allow me to provide some more (no juicy) details:
– during my first visit I have been shown (on display) to the entire direct and extended family (like a trophy. As if I was Michael Jackson).
– After I returned back home from my 1st visit, I received an email stating she was pregnant. I told this to all my collegues and all (without one exception) said that I was put in a corner deliberately (I think people in PH call that a “one shot marriage”, right?).
Thank god, it was a case of delayed mens.
(I dont consider this a juicy detail)
– Even before I visited her the first time, she said the famous 3 letter words. Mind you, all we did was video chatting.
– During all my visits I always stayed in hotels. Now, can you imagine making a partner pregnant in a hotel bedroom? Sorry, I dont. That is really below my dignity and dont know how to explain that to my daughter/son later when she/he asks about it.
Is dating a stage for negotiations? I think a lot can be solved by talking about each others views/desires/wishes (so even before the dating starts. Even among friends we do that). But whats more important about this particular case, is that she and I are both foreigners and hence coming from 2 different countries with different laws, different belief-systems, different habits, different traditions and different cultures.
During our video-chat sessions, nothing appeared to be different indicating to become a problem. There was a lot of sense of humour (good trait), a lot of serious conversations.
(BTW; her English was good. So there were no language barriers).
Personally, I consider my very first visit as a failure. We hardly had any privacy (a concept that seems to be unknown in PH). An on day 3 or 4 (during 1st visit) her niece started to interfere. This is really unknown territory for me. Especially, knowing we are dealing here with 2 mature grown up human beings (we were no kids anymore. Me in my 40s, she in her 30s). So, I packed my bags ready to go back home, earlier than planned. Eventually, I decided to stay.
Lets call this culture clash #1.
To wrap things up for now. There is one thing that I blame her for. She never did any research about my country, the culture etc. And everytime I told her about my country, she told me to stop comparing PH to NED/NL. And that she would/will find out once we would settle in my country.
For me its obvious that when YOU (as my GF) tell me something about your country that I will say: “Hey we do that the same way” or “we do that differently”. Or should I have said nothing at all instead?
BTW: she kept on asking me to bring cheese and chocolate. But I saw Cadbury chocolate and also cheese in Cebu.
Every time after a relationship ended (regardless of who ended it) I always retrospect and introspect to see where I went wrong and what I could have done better. A lesson for the future.
In Dutch we also have a saying/proverb that goes like this:
“een ervaring rijker, een illusie armer”.
Finally, I wasnt looking specifically for a woman from the Philippines. I accidentally met her online. And one thing led to another.
I dont feel superior to anybody but I am used to a high level of quality in almost everything. And then its hard to lower myself to mediocre standards. Now that is what you can blame me for, for not being flexible enough.
No, I dont take it personal.
Cheers, Robert
There are a lot of opportunists everywhere not just from the Philippines. While your ex may have been using you as a ticket to greener pasture, be thankful you were chatting with an actual person and not some dude from Africa. You should be careful with people you meet online. Having said that, I know a few people who actually met decent people online and are now happily married.
Be glad you got out of that situation unscathed. I think you need to find a better way of meeting women.
@Robert,
>>My pinay GF (now ex) and I talked about how to raise our future kid. And that was/is difficult from more than one perspctive. I am againt circumcision (without consent from the kid/child/baby), I am against baptism (without consent from the kid/child/baby) and I cant raise OUR kid in a religious way/manner.
You can try applying logic/common sense to your future Pinay GF/wife, and you will see her belief system will simply fold and crumble.
For example, ask her where in the New Testament does it say you should pray to Mary, confess to a priest, repeat Lord’s prayer XX times, baptize a baby who can’t decide yet, have circumcision, go to mass, celebrate Christmas on Dec.25? She will have nothing to show.
Just don’t be condescending or else you’ll get tampo – silent treatment / tantrum.
And one more thing – keep the contact with the relatives to a minimum; they will surely be a pain in the ass of your relationship. e.g. just visit 2 or 3 times a year.
-just my opinion
@Zaxx,
talking with her about her religion was OFF LIMITS (lets say its was the forbidden fruit to talk about). All she once told me was that she wasnt sure if a god existed or not. And she also told me she only went to church to find peace and solace (duh).
Tampo
I know what it means. I dont think she ever resort to that.
Contact with relatives
We discussed the possibility of settling in PH. In that case she wanted to live in the same city/town as where her parents live. I had been warned about that so I wanted to live in a suburb/outskirts of Cebu City.
Intermarriage
A Filipina can marry with a Dutch guy but probably not with me bec I am too …. (Aeta or you can fill in the dots). If a Filipina still wants to marry a Dutch guy with more PH doctrine then I would direct her to the Dutch Bible Belt (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Belt_(Netherlands)). The only problem is that guys from the Dutch Bible Belt are not positive for the gene pool. Basically, a Filipina is marrying a PH guy but with a Dutch passport (when she decides to marry a Dutch guy coming from the Dutch Bible Belt).
One other thing:
Where I met my GF, there were also other pinays. And almost all of them had one peculair statement in their profiles:
“accept me for who I am”. For me that means “dont change me”, “dont change my mindset”. It simply means to me that they dont want to learn new things (knowledge, facts, common sense, looking outside the box).
So, what you try to achieve by intermarriage is good but with the current mentality and mindset it wont work. Okay, is that an arrogant statement? Fine with me. I set all my hopes on all OFWs. But they dont bring change to the Philippines. OFWs should be the frontrunners, the pioneers but do they bring any change? No.
So here is my final verdict regarding the improvement, progress of the PH society. I dont think they want to progress. Otherwise they already would have started decades ago. They only use the internet for FB, Instagram, whatsapp. And thats it.
And who will benefit from that? The key politicians (including all future presidents) who will stay corrupt for as many centuries + the church.
Finally, for me its unbelieveable that among 100 million souls there is no woman (or man) to be found who will just say: “enough of this crap”. Not for my sake, but for her own sake. Because change starts from the people within, and not from the government.
The liberties we got were obtained by protest, by demanding equal rights/laws.
Pls dont change for me, change bec it will make your country (and yourself) better. Raise the bar and rise to the occassion. Dont accept mediocraty as the highest standard.
Cheers, over and out, Robert
Grimwald, we should separate the word simple from simpleton. “Simple” may look simple due to a thing done which looks easy but took long hours of disciplined practice to make it look well, “simple.” Simpleton is when a person refuses to think and lets other think for himself, accepts things as they are without question, whether done in mediocrity. “Simple” has high standards which make it look easy. Simpleton is mediocre.
Seemingly, there are many simpletons around here. They refuse to think, even read instructions, thus, do things haphazardly, and no follow-through. They copy-paste their reports from say Wikipedia, without as much as reading the contents. They rely on others to think and make decisions for themselves. They sell their votes to the highest bidders and keep going to the politicians they voted to hand them financial assistance and other hand-outs. Then they clamor that their lot in life is so poor. They drink around then go to their homes riding motorcycles in the middle of the night. When they meet accidents or killed, their siblings request for help from the government. Or they drink early in the evening, gamble deep into the night, quarrel then stab or shoot each other, if anyone gets wounded or killed, their siblings also ask assistance from the government. Poor, middle working class who are more likely, think the most because they earn their keep, the indigents who are non-taxpayers enjoy more the privileges that the govt. gives to them while they (middle class) lament when someone in their family gets hospitalized. Most often, even PhiliHealth privileges could not suffice for the big hospitalization costs. And yes, I live a simple life because I chose to. I studied in the university, maybe sometimes did some “bulakbols” but most of the time – “straight” and never cheated in examinations or assignments. Once at work, chose do things the excellent way possible. Live a simple life, eat simple nutritious food. Select and do only the things I enjoy to do most for recreation. Enjoy luxury only once-in-a while and so do not keep up with the Joneses around. My motto? “Small button, small buttonhole.”
Complexity isn’t that well accepted by a simpleton like Juan Tamad.
To answer the question: Because they are too fuckin stupid.
KISS…Keep it Simple, Stupid!!! Life problems can be complex, but , you have Brains (unless, you don’t have), to simplify them.
Your Brain is a muscle. The more you use it, to solve complex problem; the more it grows.
People who are challenged by complex problems (not mentally challenged); who are problem solvers are mostly the successful people in our civilization.
Where would be these advancements in Science and Technology; if there were no people who invented and developed these advancements.
We have to think “Outside the Box”, if we want to progress.
Filipinos love not to think; they have the “herd mentality”…, that is, if their neighbor, go OFW. They also go to be OFW.
Filipinos believe easily without thinking. Like the so called: “EDSA Revolution”…it was not a revolution. It was a “coup d’ etat” by Enrile and Ramos, to save their loots and their own skins. They know that the U.S./C.I.A. was overthrowing Marcos, because of the Bases agreement issue.
So, we got another Oligarch and an “Haciendera”, who was clueless. His son, Benigno Aquino III is mentally retarded and have psychiatric problems. We have him also, as President. The EDSA collective unconsciousness is still in the mindsets of most Filipinos.
@ 67890HT12345, R U KIDDING W/THAT SHIT ‘THE BRAIN IS A MUSCLE…’? NO, IT IS NOT A MUSCLE, GET A CLUE, OMG !
@AFICS:
It is considered a muscle…I asked some Neuro Surgeons, here in the U.S.
Some of my friends are Neuro Surgeons. They graduated from Harvard Medical School. They consider the brain, as a “muscle”.
You cannot specialize in Neuro Surgery; unless you have excellent grades. These people are the best and the brightest.
Dr. Ben Carson, the Republican Party Presidential aspirant is a Neuro Surgeon. He was from Yale University , then specialized in John Hopkins University.
…Her son, Benigno AquinoIII…(corrected)
Simple equals primitive equals basal (base/minimum/bottom)
Failnoys hate complexity because they’ve already made life in the Failippines too complex–by trying to be a “world class” country–without having the fortitude to do it as one nation and people.
That’s right.
I consider it my ex wife.
She tells me: Why should I learn?
Give me money.
That’s Filipino pride, which is honor, and Filipino lifestyle.
A nation which lost its roots and idiotic selfish leader has, the love corruption over his own people, nothing else can bring forth as spiritual unthinking slaves.
Just lazy.
Sarap na ng buhay as it is.
There is nothing to motivate people to work be better.
Its more fun here in the Philippines.
Why change that?
It’s more fun in the Failippines for now, until it’s run to the ground by Failipinos.
Ariel Rivera’s “Simpleng buhay ay kay ganda” may have something to do with the Pinoy’s disdain for complexity.
There is nothing simple about being an entrepreneur – being a household katulong or bhoy is so much simpler. Maybe a reason why poor Filipinos fall in love so easily and multiply like rabbits.
zaxx,
There is nothing simple about Failipinos (rich or poor, alike), although they profess the pursuit of a simple life; they all want to live the same aristocratic lifestyle of our Spanish heritage. Aristocracy is deeply-embedded in our culture, and the reason why we all compete with one another to get it at all cost.
Aeta
Goodness!!! There’s NOTHING IN BEING A SIMPLETON OR A MEDIOCRE! Even a simple food one cooks in one’s kitchen needs brains to make it look, smell, and taste delicious. Some of us in this country are like that, you know………or many of us are still like the proverbial Juan Tamad, opening his mouth to wait for the ripe guava to fall into it because he is too lazy even to reach out and get it…..now, where does Sen. Miriam Defensor’s statement about “having a shared/common destiny” when many wouldn’t even want to think for themselves alone, or too lazy even to feed themselves and depend on other siblings for their keep when they have big healthy bodies or are not responsible enough for themselves to keep their own very selves from danger and accidents? I meet many of them every week in my kind of work.
Grimwald, on one hand, yes, you’re right.
Pinoys don’t like complexity. When problems aren’t solved quickly, or if certain things need more than just ordinary effort to be obtained or be understood, Pinoys will indeed give up somewhere halfway through the undertaking. If things require Pinoys to think differently from the way they are used to, they will complain about things being too hard or they will lose enthusiasm for it. Another way they show they don’t like complexity is that certain Filipinos would rather be told what to do and execute it, rather than learn processes themselves and understand the logic behind things.
Kumbaga, gusto nila iba mag-iisip, sila na lang gagawa.
But on the other hand, Pinoys have a tendency to make things more complex than they need to be. Like, for example, dealing with rule of the law. Eh kasi ganito, eh kasi ganyan. Ang dami pang palusot. They tend to look for any possible excuse to explain why they can’t do something, instead of looking for ways to stay within regulations, or solve issues by themselves.
It boils down to what can be readily observed as laziness. Intellectual, definitely, and in certain cases, physical as well. That the word tamad runs deep in the Pinoy psyche says a lot about us as a people.
My ten cents’ worth of opinion Amir Al Bahr, you are very much right!!!! They do that here, in my place of work….and even if they do it, they do it haphazardly, “bahala na, basta matapos a”…….But you know, even if their performance is mediocre, they have this complex way of circumventing rules, goodness, ANG GALING SA PALUSOT! Even to the extent na paawayin ang dalawang tauhan ng opposing political factions para lalabas na ang galing niya talaga, kung sino man yung gustong mag papapel sa mga taong-bayan or community. Lies upon lies upon lies, ad infinitum…….parang masuka ka na. If one clamors, they will tell you “kayo na rin, pag oras niyo na,….. na makaupo rin sa puesto.” So, in conclusion, Grimwald, it’s something like this: the Filipino psyche is simpleton when it comes to critical thinking about issues that matter, and complex when it comes to circumventing rules and laws when something is to be gained, which mostly redounds to one thing – MONEY and all the privileges that are attached or go with it.