Why Does Everything Need to be Personal?

I think that asides from over-emotionalism and over-romanticism, I think that one of the greatest attitude issues that Pinoys have is their tendency to take everything personally. Yes, that’s right, majority of Pinoys are simply too caught up in their own personal issues to be able to differentiate what is essential and what is not. Again, this is rooted in the concept of “Pinoy Pride” and could very likely be another reason why we can never seem to get anywhere with our economy, education and status as a people. It is essentially our lack of professionalism or at least consideration of it that more often than not prevent us from making any kind of improvement.

If we can just put aside our personal pettiness for the greater good, maybe we could reach a worthwhile outcome but this is often all too difficult for a lot of us. In fact, many institutions and systems in the Philippines are often built around personal relationships rather than professional ones, resulting in a mediocre society with no interest or aspiration for further improvement. Unless we can put behind us this mindset, then I can assure you that we have no chance whatsoever in making our country a better place for the next generation.

Not convinced? Then allow me to point these out to you…

People are crazy about their “titles”…

This is probably one of the more disappointing aspects of our attitude as a people. This proves that just because someone is educated or professional, it doesn’t mean that they’re mature or productive citizens. At worst, it just insults what the titles aim to refer to in the first place.

During my stint as a student nurse, I have time and time again met doctors who look down on their patients who are all too often poor, illiterate or uneducated. While I know that doctors are indeed due some respect, a lot of them are often too full of themselves to understand what their duty entails. Instead of the life-savers they’re expected to be, they are all too often pompous, spoiled and sometimes even thuggish individuals who like to shove their doctorates in people they deem inferior to them.

Police officers are supposed to be the steadfast protectors of our laws and the citizenry. While there are indeed brave cops like the Fallen 44, there are quite possibly more cops who simply use their badges and their guns to terrorize the populace. While not all cops are thugs, a good number of them are apathetic and don’t give a nickel about the laws they’re actually supposed to uphold. For example, take note that riding a motorcycle without a helmet is strongly discouraged but you see a lot of cops doing exactly that on a lot of roads.

I also notice that a lot of politicians like to add honorifics to their already lofty titles such as “honorable” or “esteemed” even though they are anything but. More often than not, our politicians are corrupt, selfish and dishonest. If they want to add honorifics and titles to their names, it should be “foul”, “filthy”, “disgusting”, “thieving”, “abominable” or “unholy” just to name a few.

TIP:

Listen, if you really want people’s respect, always remember that actions speak louder than words. You can call yourself a doctor but if you just want the doctorate for the prestige it brings then you’re just a charlatan. You can carry a badge and gun around but if you’re not willing to protect the laws and the people of the land, then you’re just a uniformed thug. The list goes on and on.

Forget titles because, at the end of the day, they’re just words. It is what you do that defines you as a person, not what is said by other people or what words are attached to your name.

People only work with people they “like”…

As I’ve said in some of my recent articles, people only work with the people that they like. While yes, everyone has a right to “like” someone, this kind of mentality has some glaring issues. The biggest of these issues is of course that by choosing only those that we like, we are eschewing any kind of efficiency in favor of more personal pursuits.

Well, yeah, having a sexy secretary or a hot nurse (I know quite a bit of the latter) is nice, it is still required that they be efficient. Again, with this article here about Marian Rivera, I can guess that she can say anything she wants about “diskarte” because of good looks but I doubt it will be applicable for everyone in the country. For instance, are the same tactics viable for Eugene Domingo and her homely appearance?

Another thing to note is just because someone is “nice” to you doesn’t mean they’re really looking out for you. You should thank people for their courtesy and kindness but never look for it in other people. Politicians are especially known for giving away freebies during elections just to get the good side of the masses. In the end, even the worst candidate is often voted into power just because he/she gave away dole-outs during the election, resulting in the oligarch-dominated leadership we have today.

TIP:

C’mon guys, stop acting like kids. It’s been decades now and we still have the same black and white insanity going on. I mean WTF guys?

The media has essentially trapped us in our comfort zones by giving us nothing but shows that are of questionable feasibility and unrealistic characters. They make us think in black and white and assume that the people supporting us are always good (even if they have their own agenda) and everyone who criticizes us are bad (even they are ultimately trying to help us or really do see something wrong with our methods).

Please people, let’s put aside our personal preferences because not everyone will agree with you on “personal matters”. Instead, let’s focus on the greater good and what is essential to our society. A person who is cute and efficient is good to have around but a person who is just cute is just a pretty face. A person whose nice and works hard is a good worker but a person who treats others but isn’t willing to work is just lazy. Learn to support people because they’re efficient, not because they do what you want them to.

We can’t let go of our grudges…

Look, let’s get this straight okay, I have time and time again seen people who refuse to work just because they share their office with an enemy. In a country like the United Kingdom for example, a toxic workplace is a fact of life and that volleying insults with hostile office-mates while trying to finish a day’s work is par for the course.

Many Pinoys, even professional ones at that, like to count their grudges similar to the way the dwarves of Warhammer compile theirs in ledgers. We like keeping grudges against others and try to take revenge with the slightest opportunity. People have been beaten or even killed by others claiming to be professionals like doctors, engineers and politicians all because of some personal slight that can otherwise be ignored.

TIP:

By letting our emotions cloud our better judgement, can we even call ourselves “professionals”? Look, everyone has problems and everyone has enemies, that I can assure you. But do we have to let them rule our lives? Do we have to let them influence our decisions?

Remember, you probably got where you are now because of your family and friends and has little to do with your enemies. We must also learn to accept criticism because only then do we learn where our failures lie. By reacting negatively criticism, we only set ourselves up for more and worsening problems over time.