I feel sorry for my nipples. Unfortunately for them, we live in a society that frowns upon the sight of female nipples catching a bit of sunshine. Whereas it is perfectly acceptable — no, ordinary — for women in certain tribes in Africa, South America, and in our own country’s mountainous provinces to walk around topless, the “ladylike” thing to do in our “civilized” way of life is to keep them under cups. Those tribeswomen may be as baffled by bras and tops as we are of burkas.
What have female nipples done that was so wrong as to be subject to so much persecution? The reason I am suddenly experiencing an empathic episode for my nipples comes from a recent article published in The New Yorker given the title â€œNipplegateâ€. It seems, Facebook is quite the nipple persecutor. It recently suspended the Facebook page of the New Yorker after it shared on it an image of a cartoon depicting Adam and Eve in a humorous situation.
Guys, it’s The New Yorker you just banned!!
And besides, how else would you depict Adam and Eve without violating internal guidelines allegedly observed by Facebook’s “moderation team” with regard to “nudity and sexâ€? According to a Gawker article, these guidelines make use of really precise terms…
When it comes to sex and nudity, Facebook is strictly PG-13, according to the guidelines. Obvious sexual activity, even clothed, is deleted, as are “naked â€˜private parts’ including female nipple bulges and naked butt cracks.” But “male nipples are OK.” Foreplay is allowed, “even for same sex (man-man/woman-woman)” Even the gays can grope each other on Facebook.
Maybe I read too much into this but I detect a bit of male bias here. Male nipples are obviously the same anatomical item. They just happen to be attached to a male person, right? And, come on, “nipple bulges and naked butt cracks”?? You’ve gotta be kidding! That sort of policy will merely encourage Filipinos to continue the rather unsightly practice of swimming on the beach in t-shirts and shorts! And here I was thinking that the whole point of going to the beach is to be able to upload your fantastic bikini pix onto your Facebook profile..
Checking out Facebook’s publicly-accessible Community Standards, however, the language is a bit more ambiguous…
Facebook has a strict policy against the sharing of pornographic content and imposes limitations on the display of nudity. At the same time, we aspire to respect peopleâ€™s right to share content of personal importance, whether those are photos of a sculpture like Michelangelo’s David or family photos of a child breastfeeding.
A whole lotta good that will do. If this sort of vague language masks a “moderation team” composed of Taliban clerics, then I think we have a legitimate cause to organize an indignation rally against Facebook management. Seems like Zuck has lost his sense of humor now that Facebook is now — sniff — a public company *eyesroll*. Bizarre, considering Facebook supposedly started out as some sort of college-boy prank (at least according to the way the movie The Social Network told the story).
I propose we add female nipples to the rolls of humanity’s marginalized and oppressed. It’s time we reclaim their rights!