It’s official. I finally got confirmation that a lot of Filipino men are so into themselves. I thought it was just me but a recent survey conducted by global market research company, Synovate Inc. revealed that 48 percent of Filipino males felt they were sexually attractive. This revelation made another global media outlet, CNN International conclude that Filipino men are the most narcissistic in Asia.
I have always wondered why a lot of the men in the country carry this look about them that seems to say, “I can give you a good time.” And I don’t know if I should be happy or sad with the news that I was right about my assessment of most Filipino men after all.
On one hand, I should be happy because now I know how to deal with them, which is to avoid them like the plague. On the other hand, it makes me sad knowing that there is very little evidence that a cure for narcissism exists. I mean, how do you make someone admit that they are so arrogant? It is possible, but you will have to devote an entire lifetime talking some sense into them. And if the survey is accurate – that almost half the population of Filipino men is conceited – the implications of this are very serious, the least of which is that “nine out of 10 Filipino men polled said they liked to look good for themselves, not anyone else.”
Narcissism is defined by the dictionary as “an excessive love or admiration of oneself. It is also defined as a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.”
We all possess varying degrees of inclination to narcissism. A healthy dose of love for or admiration of one’s self helps us function normally. It helps us appreciate our own look and more importantly, our achievements. In other words, when we have the right amount of narcissism, we become confident individuals. This assists us in getting ahead in school, in our careers and forming a healthy relationship with other people. And this means we can enjoy life more.
But an excessive dose of fondness for our own greatness could be bordering on insanity and delusion of grandeur. It can actually affect the way we deal with the people around us. Cases of narcissism have recently become unchecked and all of a sudden now acceptable thanks to people’s obsession with being famous like Hollywood celebrities. Likewise, the advent of social networking sites did not help people stay grounded in reality. In sites like Facebook for example, we see a lot of people exhibiting narcissistic behavior all the time.
It is easy to spot narcissists in social networking sites. They are the ones who cannot seem to get enough attention. They are the ones who post updates on the minutiae of what they are doing very frequently. They also change their profile photo everyday — as if the new one is perceivably better than the last one. You can even call what they are doing “spamming”. Narcissists fail to realize that posting updates and changing photos frequently could make them come across as unstable or “mental” to some.
In various forums online, narcissists participate in the discussion not to learn but to brag about what they know. They are easily offended and take things very personally. Unfortunately, on-line forums and social networking sites is where narcissists thrive.
An overdose of this personality trait called “narcissism” is associated with egotism, vanity, conceit and selfishness and is now considered a disorder.
A person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder has been described as someone with “an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves”. The cause of this disorder is said to be unknown but the disorder can be traced back to bad genes; abusive household or perhaps demonic possession…ok, that last one is a bit of a stretch. But you can just imagine the kind of environment that will breed or develop a personality disorder such as that.
One online source revealed that “a narcissist is someone who never grew out of being a selfish child. They find it hard to share and even harder to share the limelight, always wanting to be the focus of attention”. In short, a narcissist can also be described as simply immature.
PubMed Health described the symptoms of a person with narcissistic personality disorder below. Someone who may:
React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Have excessive feelings of self-importance
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Need constant attention and admiration
Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
Have obsessive self-interest
Pursue mainly selfish goals
In my role as a blogger, I have encountered quite a number of narcissists. They often force their views on other people by using written abuse, aggression and defensiveness. People like them do not acknowledge that other people are entitled to their own opinion. They quickly label people “idiot” or “stupid” but fail to see the flaw in their own thinking.
The behavior of narcissists on the Net mirrors what they are like in real life. In real life, they most likely also tend to use verbal abuse and force their way through even with their loved ones or those close to them. This is why you see a lot of Filipinas suffering in harmful relationships. It is a result of a combination of a society that suppresses women and a society that harbors machismo or excessive masculinity at the same time. It is quite destructive if you ask me.
Unfortunately, since narcissists use force to get their way, they also tend to be the ones who end up in power. Perhaps this is why a lot of the issues in the Philippines always end up reaching an impasse. Hardly anything gets resolved. This is because most politicians in power have excessive feelings of self-importance and are just preoccupied with “fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence” but they don’t really have a lot of substance. More importantly, most Filipino politicians pursue selfish goals regardless of how they affect other people.
Unless Filipino men who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder remain undiagnosed and untreated, they will continue to hold positions of power unrestrained, wreaking havoc on Philippine society.
” They quickly label people “idiot” or “stupid” but fail to see the flaw in their own thinking.”
so name calling is narcissistic behavior? i agree with that.
Name-calling shows your true character, me thinks.
It also shows a symptom of weakness and a surrender applying the logical reasons.
erratum:
It also shows a symptom of weakness and a surrender of the use of the logical reasons.
“..is easy to spot narcissists in social networking sites. They are the ones who cannot seem to get enough attention. They are the ones who post updates on the minutiae of what they are doing very frequently. ”
would you argue that blogging is somewhat narcissistic as well? blogging was one of the first forms of online life; twitter is considered “micro-blogging”.
A healthy dose of narcissism helps bloggers do what they do best
Yes, emphasis on the “healthy dose.” ^_^
That’s right Aegis
“I finally got confirmation that Filipino men are so into themselves”
Is that statement absolute Ilda? When I say absolute, I’d say, quoting someone as “not qualified or diminished in any way; total”?
Well, what I really meant to say is that, is this general or refer to “some” Filipinos, which would mean then, it is limited.
^_~
I like this
Erratum:
Well, what I really meant to say is that, is this general or it refers to “some” Filipinos, which would mean then, it is limited?
It is general. It is based on a statistical principle or drawn from a sample.
@GabbyD:
“would you argue that blogging is somewhat narcissistic as well?”
It depends, Gabby, in how you handle your ideas into the blog. If it shows narcissistic attitude, and if it shows narcissism in handling arguments.
@GabbyD:
“would you argue that blogging is somewhat narcissistic as well?”
It depends, Gabby, in how you handle your ideas into the blog. If it shows narcissistic attitude, and if it shows narcissism in handling arguments, then, then the blogger is narcissistic which is manifested in his/her blogging style.
“Narcissists fail to realize that posting updates and changing photos frequently could make them come across as unstable or “mental” to some.”
Ooops, really? I change profile photo of my facebook frequently.
But how frequent is frequent?
Well, I consider those who change their profile photo everyday too excessive.
Wait a minute, what about the women? How many women are narcissistic?
Let’s request for a separate blog on the narcissism in women, ^_~
Yep. I agree! Kawawa naman kami.
Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a research done on how women fair in this department. So I would be guessing if I had to write an article about it.
How could most Filipino men be narcissistic, when your figure clearly says that it’s at 48%, i.e. not a majority? That’s like saying that a barkada of 10 is a fat group if 5 of them were overweight…
Most–> the keyword. Let’s suppose the most is represented by 50% of the total population. Of that 50%, can’t you conclude that 48% is not majority?
If not, please define majority.
Thanks.
The agency came to the conclusion that Filipino men are the most narcissistic in Asia because: “By way of comparison, just 25 percent of men in Singapore considered themselves sexually attractive, 17 percent in China and Taiwan and a measly 12 percent of Hong Kong guys think the same.”
The figure also means that when you meet a Filipino, chances are he could be one of the 48%. It’s like when you toss a coin, it’s either going to be the head or the tail.
Actually, narcissism only becomes a problem when it damages another person. It is not necessarily a bad trait. It is just a hint of optimism of a person for him/herself. Only a few Filipinos develop this trait wherein they believe in themselves. It is better for them to be narcissistic than to be pessimistic and become dependent in the end. Just my two cents.
P.S.
Except when you are in public service you cannot deny that narcissism distracts people more when they think of themselves more than the service they provide.
Nice one. I agree. My brother is narcissistic but he never depends on anybody but himself. He does not hurt anyone though but it’s good because he’s independent. The bad side is when you want help, he won’t give a damn about you.
In reading blogs…do not mind the Messenger…just understand his messages. If you are looking for Narcisists; just look at our Politicians and Leaders…some are given Honorary Doctorate Degrees, without even a good reason. Some use Public Relation people to magnify their: achievements; abilities and accomplishment. When they move; bodyguards are with them; with sirens blaring, that warns you; they are coming, so give way…Where the Leaders go…the People will surely follow…
do you mean, the idiots follow? In contrast to the blogger, most Filipinos are contented with mediocrity, a trait which develops in pessimistic people. They treat themselves as insignificant to the society wherein they tend to follow people whom they think is better than them in order to bask in their greatness. Everyone should have faith in themselves to pursue greatness in every little thing that they do. If they don’t, they should stay contented to where they are and wait for their insignificant death caused by the person they entrust themselves with.
Some people consider themselves excellent even when their accomplishment is only mediocre. That’s narcissism for you.
As the late French Romantic artist Eugène Delacroix once noted:
Mediocre people have an answer for everything and are astonished at nothing. They always want to have the air of knowing better than you what you are going to tell them; when, in their turn, they begin to speak, they repeat to you with the greatest confidence, as if dealing with their own property, the things that they have heard you say yourself at some other place…. A capable and superior look is the natural accompaniment of this type of character.
@Ilda
“Some people consider themselves excellent even when their accomplishment is only mediocre. That’s narcissism for you.”
I think that’s “pride” mixed with narcissism.
Hi Ron,
Narcissism is related to the conditions of pride and arrogance.
Please read this article here and it will show you how they classified Filipinos as among the most sinful men in Asia because of their pride.
You have got to be kidding me.
Anyway I believe that, being a guy I saw a lot that are boastful. I think it’s not only attractiveness only but also everything.
I admit I was once like that but times have changed when you get old. Attractiveness is now less a priority in me. I’m more on art now.
Simple dress and deodorant is okay to me. Hehehe…
Toro, I missed your comments in the GRPc.
People who are narcissist:
” React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
Have excessive feelings of self-importance
Exaggerate achievements and talents
Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Need constant attention and admiration
Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
Have obsessive self-interest
Pursue mainly selfish goals. ”
Must a narcissist in terms of disorder require all those features to be considered as a narcissist?
If yes, then very small amount of Filipinos are narcissist.
If not, then all humans are narcissists.
As I said in my article, “We all possess varying degrees of inclination to narcissism. A healthy dose of love for or admiration of one’s self helps us function normally. It helps us appreciate our own look and more importantly, our achievements. In other words, when we have the right amount of narcissism, we become confident individuals. This assists us in getting ahead in school, in our careers and forming a healthy relationship with other people. And this means we can enjoy life more.
But an excessive dose of fondness for our own greatness could be bordering on insanity and delusion of grandeur. It can actually affect the way we deal with the people around us.”
If most Filipinos do not have the disorder, then most of them have a “healthy dose” of narcissism, therefore, most of the Filipinos “function normally.”
But why are all the real life examples with regards to all “healthy dose” narcissist Filipinos who “function normally” demonstrated in this article as negative when its suppose to be a benefit?
Going on, how should people have a “healthy dose” or the “right amount of narcissism?”
Does this article imply that since it only takes 1 of those narcissistic symptoms to become a narcissist, then that 1 symptom should not be “excessive,” thus, every symptom must also not be “excessive” to have that “healthy dose?”
I see a contradiction here. Your saying that people should not exhibit any of those narcissistic symptoms excessively because those “excessive” symptoms are detrimental for them. You then conclude that just because those people with disorders are “bad” to your eyes, hence, the “healthy dose” people who exhibit “excessive” narcissistic symptoms are bad. However, people with “healthy dose” of narcissism do not have the disorder, which means these people will highly likely not have the disorder, therefore, whatever their narcissistic symptoms are, they will likely not be as “excessive” as the symptoms of people with disorder, which means its never detrimental for them, so, in the end, all narcissist Filipinos can never be as “bad” as the people with the disorder.
What you are asking the author to do here, Mr Sandiya is explain to you what SPECIFICALLY constitutes “excessive” narcissism. That’s a bit like asking someone to explain what makes a joke funny.
If I were to quibble on the finer details about, humour, for example, it’d probably go like this:
So if I exhibit three out of the five symptoms of reflexive response to a signal that claims to possess the property of humour, say the utterance of the sound of laughter, uncontrollable shaking in synch with said laughter, and a stitches-like sensation in the abdomen, does that mean that we can quote a factor of 0.6 as a possible value describing the humour-to-total-info-content ratio of the said signal?
Sounds ridiculous and rather pompous, doesn’t it?
In short, if you have to ask one to quantify in specific terms what “excessive” narcissism means “exactly”, then that indicates that you may need to work a bit on your EQ faculties. Otherwise, maybe you yourself are exhibiting a form of narcissism — one that involves displaying some sort of perverse prowess for quibbling on little irrelevant details to mask some sort of substance deficit on your part.
Huh?!?
Sweet!
LOL
I live in California, I have had really horrible experiences dating, or should I say, attempting to date Filipinas. They have been narcissistic to a incredible degree. The problem is, I know they’re bad behaviors are reactions to bad behaviors of Filipino men. They’re not smart enough to realize that they should adjust their behavior towards me. They should not engage in such behaviors that are a reaction to behaviors I just don’t have.
Okay, I need to clarify the “attempting to date” comment. These Filipinas all approached me first. Yeah! Yeah! I know that’s not typical behavior for a Filipina. So freakin’ what! That’s what initially grabbed my attention. Of course, I ask for a date a couple times. Naturally, they would say “no” because I’m supposed to keep asking right? WRONG!!! I’m not stupid! Bye! Bye!
Another typical Filipino behavior is they tend to be “pakiaalamera.” So when one of them tries to fix me up with someone, I say i don’t like Pinays because they’re “mangloloko.”
Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a study done to confirm what you are saying that “Filipinas are narcissistic to an incredible degree.”
Which is why the title of my blog ends in a question mark.
This narcissism may come from the same likely root cause of “Pinoy Pride,” which is a feeling of inferiority influenced by images of masculinity in the mass media. Aside from the traditional machismo exhibited by Filipinos, narcissism exists because Filipino men actually fear being inferior – and yet they actually feel inferior. Mass media is also to blame for enforcing inaccurate stereotypes about the genders.
Let me add, the inferiority also comes from the general state of poverty that influences the culture. Even our middle class and elite have been seeded with the mentality of people in poverty. Better views of masculinity can come from having a better economy.
Which is why we need to empower the women who are being suppressed by our society. The men in power are no good to the majority.
I think Filipino men need to be empowered too.
With more brains. haha
What? Brains?! Wait. Oh yeah you’re right.
I think I’ll add one more thing to empower men with: heart. One wouldn’t so overly narcissistic if they had much heart (as in concern for others and all that). That’s how I see Pinoy masculine culture: quite heartless and brainless (as is all of Pinoy culture after all).
You are spot on.
You know, when Synovate said that 48% of Filipino men considered themselves attractive… did that study include “men” the likes of Vice Ganda? That might explain it. lol
I love that Venn diagram. I’ve not seen that before.
Yeah, I was lucky to find it for this article
feel sad for my people but it is true!
It is imperative that we do something about it. The future of the country is depending on men (and women) who might be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Our society needs to encourage more people to speak out against tyranny in the guise of the so-called People Power “heroes.”
Now we know that we need to stand up against these bullies.
yes, my confirmation is also correct. I have encountered of these kinds having these boastful, narcissistic, disorderly characteristics. Very small minds indeed!
Apparently, the disturbing behavior is now becoming the norm or acceptable in our society. This is because those who exhibit narcissistic disorder also tend to get away with bullying others into submission.
Narcissistic, conceited, self-glorifying are only the few of the many bad traits of Filipinos.
They won’t admit it though.
Of course Filipino men need to look good more than ever to be able to compete with foreign males! Consider the growing number of Filipino women in interracial marriages. Pinoys are no longer the Pinays’ first choice. This is not necessarily narcissism. Its insecurity.
If we go by the official definition: “A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value, and one or more of their capabilities, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary, and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by “going wrong” in the future,” so I would say, no. Their behaviour is not consistent with being insecure.
Being insecure is the opposite of being a narcissist.
Narcissists have low underlying self-esteem, but they address this problem by over-compensating; they present a mask, an entirely false image of themselves to the world designed to engineer a constant flow of admiration from others. This enables them to maintain their self-esteem at a relatively high level
So therefore, you agree that most Filipino men who exhibit that kind of behaviour are narcissists
Insecurity of the male or female? I think most Filipinas who connect with non-Filipinos do it for practical reasons like getting a life, not for the man’s looks. Indeed, I suspect if a Filipino man displayed humor, intelligence, and courtesy – call it charm – he would be “seen” as attractive by Filipinas no matter his physical look. But if a guy is so into himself that he can’t consider others . . . there are other pastures in which to plow . . . or hunt . . or whatever. Fields? Forests? Juices!
I think the excessive bravado and bluster exhibited by the typical Pinoy male on the outside (and there are lots of examples of this in a few forums I observe every now and then
) is a sad attempt to mask a complete lack of substance on the inside. Unfortunately it takes a special sort of mind to see through that behaviour. Sadly not too many Pinoys possess such a mind. 
I like how many guys commented on this. It clearly shows that the statistics do hold their value. While being a Pilipino myself, I can say that I am quite attractive and some women can attest to this(not including my mother and sister, of course). Haha.
I am quite astonished at the depth of the article you posted. You people brought back my faith in Pilipinos once more.
I’m sure you are
I see…
I wonder if this was the case before colonization. A gut feeling tells me no and that this this has been something that has developed as some kind of coping mechanism, as are a lot of behaviors so oriented to self and identity.
“demonic possession”…teeheehee…thanks for fixing the link ilda!
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I attest all what you’ve said are true and confirmed.
And no cure can be seen in the horizon but they have to remedy that by themselves, because it they don’t they are loosing their female.
As an introvert, this all makes sense to me why a lot of the boys in my classes years ago annoy the heck out of me all the time. They’re just so pushy and full of noise, mostly surrounding themselves with people who keep feeding on their egos. But these go to females as well. They can be bitchier than the males.