3 Things That Are Missing In Many Filipino Men Today

After reading Ms. Ilda’s latest article about Pia Wurtzbach’s search for a boyfriend, I can assume that there are now hundreds, if not thousands, of Filipino men out there who are rushing to queue up for a chance to be her lucky man. Unfortunately, I don’t think she’ll easily be able to find one that’s truly worthy of her attention and love anytime soon. Look, let’s be realistic here, I’m not saying it’s impossible because I know a good number of dudes out there who are worthy of a goddess like Ms. Wurtzbach but they are few and far between and they will either be taken quickly (as they tend to be in demand these days) or they’re going to turn bad like all the rest either because of bad influences or because bad experiences will change them.

Granted, I myself am very doubtful I’ll find a significant other any time soon because of certain peculiarities that I possess but I am also saddened at what the menfolk of the Philippines has become over the years. No doubt, you’ve at least felt the sentiment in at least two of my previous articles. However now, I think it’s time I pointed out the obvious just in case some of you still don’t get it.

See, while I certainly don’t underestimate the capabilities of women in our country (indeed I myself agree with Senator Santiago’s statement that a female leader can be just as effective as a leader for the Philippines) our culture is still a male-dominated one. In our society, more is expected of men as compared to women and is why, even though women tend to outnumber men, there will probably be more male politicians than women. Now, men may not be superior to women but one can assume that the Filipino male will continue to have considerable clout on society at large in the near future.

So let me make this clear to you, my fellow “men” of the Philippines: We share responsibility for our country with our women. In fact, if things ever go to Hell (and they’re already moving in that direction, believe me) we will likely be held responsible as majority of our women tend to be passive and prefer to leave the decision-making to us. Unfortunately, over the years, the values of both men and women in the Philippines are on the decline and, unless something is done soon, our country will be totally doomed.

Much as I’d like to include women in this article, truth be told, I’m not an expert on the opposite sex. So instead, I’m going to focus on what I think men of the country lack. And yes, any of our female writers out there are free to write about their own sex if they want to.

Stoicism

Look, there’s nothing wrong with being emotional. Indeed gentlemen, I think that some of us should be more attuned to our emotions. Unfortunately, what I do not like is that there is an ever-growing number of drama kings out there.

Now, I’m willing to admit that I’ve had moments of emotional instability as well. However, the problem occurs when we become to over emotional and allow our emotions to get the better of us. Worse still, there are men out there who are so overwhelmed by their own insecurities that they use them as an excuse or even as a weapon to remain dysfunctional and unproductive.

“I’m too poor to make something of myself!”

“I’m illiterate so don’t expect too much of me!”

“This is all I am, take it or leave it!”

These disappointing statements are things that I hear all too often from a lot of men these days. I don’t know if teleseryes have also corrupted the minds of our menfolk or if they’ve been eating too much spicy food but I think we should stop being so over-dramatic. I mean, it’s okay to be emotional but we should try to remain professional and focus on our best courses of action which may include improving oneself and standing in life.

Decency And Discretion

Speaking of “professionalism”, I think that a lot of Pinoy men today are just too caught up in “gangster” culture. And no, I’m not talking about the suit-wearing, hat-shaded and mild-mannered gangsters of the 1950’s, I’m talking about rowdy kids wearing baggy clothing, reversed caps and festooned with all kinds of jewelry. Look, if you guys are into that kind of thing, that’s up to you. I’m willing to admit that I look pretty weird myself.

But you see, that kind of clothing doesn’t look “professional”. Heck, for some, it’s not even presentable. What’s worse is that not only do a lot of men today dress inappropriately, they also tend to talk inappropriately with hollow bravado. A friend once told me a golden rule when speaking to strangers: “Less talk, less mistakes.” While I don’t completely agree with this, I do notice a lot of men these days who engage in as much vapid talk as Kris Aquino. All they ever talk about are tall tales about themselves which is nothing more than senseless boasting and posturing.

Principle

Another problem with a lot of men today is a lack of principle. Granted, I know that some of us really are that desperate what with the kind of dysfunctional economics that we have. However, must we stoop so low to make ends meet.

What’s worse is that a lot of us have better options yet choose to do what is wrong anyway. I have always believed that a good man should have better control of himself and his urges. It is essentially a man’s self-discipline and will to do what is right over what is wrong is what essentially separates him from brutes.

Our lack of principles, gentlemen, is one of the things that allow things like corruption not just survive in society, but thrive. Unless we’re willing to put our feet down regarding issues of ethics, then I can assure you that the country will be trapped in a state misery.

[Photo courtesy The Telegraph.]